Archives from September 15, 2006

Sheri’s Top Ten List: Things That Don’t Work

Photo: Sheri Berger
Friday, September 15th, 2006 in Sheri's Top Tens

I really really really really dislike things that don’t work the way they are supposed to. We had a “glitch” with The Loopy Ewe website yesterday, that made ordering impossible. (And later, made getting on the website at all, impossible.) Granted, things have gone extremely smoothly since we got it up and running, so maybe we were due, but I’m of the mindset that we should just stay smooth and glitch-free forever. Why do we have to be “due” for a glitch? So here are some things that don’t work, that bug me. (Why would you be interested in this? I don’t know.)

1. COMPUTERS. (Yes, that deserved to be in shouting capital letters.) I don’t like it when I am attempting to do something perfectly reasonable, and the computer fails to understand it. I certainly didn’t mean to add the little comma in the middle of the command that I typed out. Obviously a comma doesn’t go there, so why should that trip the whole thing up? Why can’t the computer think, “Hmm. That is not the place for a comma. She must’ve meant to type this other thing instead.” We can get a man on the moon, but we can’t make a computer that understands that we didn’t mean the typo? (Case in point – why do numbers 6-10 of this list look like a different font? Why isn’t the BOLD feature working on those? Why has everything that I tried to do to fix the situation failed? COMPUTERS.)
DSCF2838.JPG2. Dogs. Well, one dog in particular. When it’s time to go to bed, we let her outside (and back in) one last time. Most nights, I can call her in my sweetest and most inviting voice, and she still just lays there in the family room, looking at me like I’m nuts. (Especially if it is raining or cold out.) I frequently have to go in there, make eye contact with her, and then take her to the back door. Apparently she has me trained needs a personal escort.

3. COMPUTERS. Why does my whole website have to be “wonky” because something somewhere inside my computer (or out there in cyber-world, or on the web-hosts computer) decided that things were not going to work right today? Who delegated that power to them?

4. Shopping. I spent yesterday shopping/lunching with a friend. (She is the recipient of the brown/blue knitted bag from the previous blog and she liked it!) I like shopping. We went to Soft Surroundings and there are too many great things in that store. I found a denim jacket that I liked. Totally impractical. I have enough denim jackets. It didn’t work to tell myself that. I bought it.

5. COMPUTERS. If things aren’t going right, one of the things you can do is close the program down and start over. Or, shut your computer off and re-boot. Why? Why is it that I have to do that? Why can’t the computer/program just FIX itself and start working again? Why do I have to start over, and who decided that that would be the way it works?

DSCF2837.JPG6. Cats. What doesn’t work about cats? Their brains, when they see yarn. Fortunately, Zoe ignores yarn in balls/hanks/skeins, on shelves, on tables, on the floor …. unless there is the slightest little piece pulled out. If there is a loose loop, she is on it with all fours. “Zoe! No yarn!” does not compute, when she is in a wool-induced frenzy.

7. COMPUTERS. More to the point, when they’re supposed to be “talking” to the printer, and printing something out. Why do I sometimes get “printing has stopped”. Who told it to stop? And for what reason? These are things I want to know.

8. Cell phones. I cannot always be thinking ahead. There are some days that I rush out of the house, only to find my cell phone battery dead. Truly, is it my fault that the battery wasn’t charged the night before? I think not. What matters to me the next morning is that the cell phone is not working and I need it to be working.

9. COMPUTERS. More to the point – the internet connection on the computer. I wake up in the mornings and wander into the office to check email. One of the things I count on is being able to get on line. Once in awhile, it doesn’t work. That means that I spend an inordinate amount of time on hold with the high speed internet company, only to then have them tell me that “things look good on this end. It must be on your end.” Inexplicably, the problem usually self-corrects later in the day. All I know is that it didn’t work when I needed it to.

10. Having other things going on in your life when you’d really rather be knitting. Honestly, that just does not work. Who wants to be spending time on other things in life, when there are yarns just waiting to be knit up? Patterns calling your name? Something must be done about that. I’m open to suggestions. I don’t like things that don’t work.

Sheri IdiscoveredcakebattericecreamatColdStoneCreameryyesterday.Thatworks!!

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